Ernest Doubt: He’s the protagonist of our strip, in as far as bad stuff just keeps on happening to him. He has a penchant for crying and a knack for getting knocked in the head. He often feels sorry for himself and is generally not likable.
Let’s hope he develops some redeeming qualities.
Svin The Pink: He’s pink, grouchy and not real. He’s also the most sane person this comic has at the moment. A physical manifestation of Ernest’s imagination – he’s stuck with the kid whether he likes it or not.
Lately, he does not.
Pastor B.S.: He’s a pastor. He’s full of shit. He is greedy. He does coke. He’s has affairs. He dances poorly. And those are just his good qualities.
He’s pretty much everyone’s favourite character.
Tortoise (Tortie)? L. Veggieburger: She’s crazy like Ernest, but the similarities end there. She’s has a tendency to be blunt and her feelings toward Ernest could be described as contemptuous. She’s a problem solver with no time for pity.
It’s a pity she’s stuck hanging around Ernest.
Carml: She’s big, yellow and kind. She’s Tortie’s imaginary friend. Their relationship is the exact opposite of Ernest and Svin’s – they like each other.
She doesn’t like vowels though. Go figure.
Doctor King: He works in the mental ward at the hospital, but his credentials are highly suspect.? His methods are unorthodox. Beheadings are typically frowned upon. He damned our heroes (we use the term loosely) to hell.
Also, he’s fucking nuts.
Crying Girl: Oh to be a character without a proper name. Crying girl tends to cry. A lot. But watching your best friend head off to the guillotine can be a little trying.
That’s all.
Bling Bunny: He’s Crying Girl’s imaginary friend. He’s dead. He went head to head with the chopping block and lost.
Tragic.
Cheztopher (Chez) the Cat: He’s a minion of hell though he prefers the term underworld liaison. He can come across as welcoming and warm, but don’t be fooled or you may find yourself force fed a forgettable family sitcom. He suffers from job dissatisfaction.
Apparently it’s hard to get a promotion in hell.
Raisin Man (2008): He’s the new year! At least, he was new, back when 2008 rolled around. He was the new year baby, but he was murdered by 2009 after his 12 months.
That year went by fast.
Robot: Robot probably has a proper name, but no one has bothered to ask Robot what it is. Another case of A.I. discrimination. Robot is fueled by the emotions of others.
Robot is one hell of a kisser.
Kathy Lee Gifford: There is nothing more evil than the black, shriveled and disembodied soul of Kathy Lee Gifford! It would be fair to describe her as a villain and perhaps the main antagonist of our current plot.
Kathy Lee Gifford is a fictional character and any similarities to “Kathy Lee Giffords” currently alive or dead is purely coincidental. Mostly.
